Now, I am making peace with this odd moment in my life. This bazaar month of April.
Making way for some deep soul work and healing now while I grieve my daddy.
I have written a long, personal journal about this month of April. It is now a short story that I will publish maybe next year.
Last night I had a deep conversation with my beautiful Godmother, Yeshoda, who owns a spiritual growth school in Florida. It was a breakthrough. You see, she and I really do not know one another that well. But we do on a soulful level as it turns out.
Last night, I just freakin' sobbed my eyes out over the enormous emotions I was feeling at the loss of my daddy; I had to forgive myself for being so blind with desire, at the stupid loss of income and money and time spent trying to do something awesome for my beloved motorcycle life through a contest that just wasn't worth it; I just have to be and feel all the emotions that are all tangled up right now instead of being stoic and holding back.
Yes, so last night I screamed on the river bank here in Nashville into my hands I let flow all the loss, the craving for my daddi Poppi, the anger I feel at myself, all of it...but there is more...there is more to this grieving process than I could ever imagine.
Grieving is the art of everything you feel in your little painbody rushing at you at once, all tangled up in the spirit of the loved one who is watching from the otherside encouraging you to be a better person, sit tall in the saddle of your life, abandon all the things that tear you from your center, your truth. They become your guardians to encourage you to evolve, bust through the membrane of fear, falsehood, and away from those dark characters and situations that do nothing but tear you down and keep you from your evolution and betterment.
I'm on a mission now. Today, I'm working on my book edits which are just so overwhelming, but I'm approaching it slowly and purposefully, like an artist may correct a canvas. This book is so important to me even though it may be just a git-er-done product to the publisher. It's my works, a legacy that I leave behind for all the world to enjoy...through which to be inspired.
Today, I'm working on my music...because it's the place where I can be wild and free like on my motorcycle...jam out and be a rock star and dream.
Today, I'm back on my cleanse program, cleansing all the toxins out of my body and fasting. Releasing the toxins from bitter foods and bitter experience -- freeing my body to experience deep JOY once again through good vibrations.
Yes, my friends, I take you with me on the healing journey -- but you be on your journey too. I will be your example that you too can barrel through the adversity to evolve as a higher spirit and wilder human.
- S a s h a
- N Y C and Nashville, United States
- Hippie, Gypzy, Biker Chixie. Yep, that's me. www.bikerlady.com and www.chromecowgirl.com - my websites and I welcome your comments in this blog called Down the Road a Peace. Because, after all "do you wanna a peace of me?" : ) I'd love to hear your thoughts, so share them here. Personalize the topic and make it your own by sharing your own experience relative to the topic at hand, or let's create a new topic. U R Loved by Me.