I was stiffed by a freelance job and I'm pissed.
So here it is V-Twin Cincinnati weekend, the motorcycle industry hang, and I get a flat wallet and can't afford to go last minute. My friends are so amazing, they would do anything to get me there. But, I'm too prideful and want to take responsibility for trusting an employment situation that was iffy at best anyway. I've got to get a job and not think about fun.
Today, I will seek another honky tonk bartending gig. There's some options. I'm a little concerned about one opportunity because the bar gets robbed by junkies. Sigh. If I was still living in NYC, I'd dial up my beautiful friends at Skadden Arps and go word process again on the overnight shift. I love my friends from that gig....all beautiful amazing people. I miss them.
But here in Nashville, there are no funky last minute jobs you can pick up like in NYC. So, it's a task to find a job here. I don't have a college degree either. In NYC, well, if you have the life experience, they'll take you on in lieu of a college degree. Here, it's more strict. If a Nashville employer states college degree is necessary, they mean it. So, I gots to use my street smarts to survive here too.
Did you ever just sit and wonder about the concept of work and what it means to work today? I love to work. Working is fun for me. To accomplish something even if it's making a cocktail as a bartender. However, I'm a Jill of many workable talents. IT's just that it seems that the work ethic has been sorely whittled down to survival of the fittest. There's no much loyality in return from employers like days of yore.
As a worker bee, I'm as loyal as a doggie. I'll do whatever it takes to get a job done. I'm eager and willing. A team player. Not someone who'll sit there and say, not my job, because those three little words to me represent a ball that could drop. You may say that I'm a caregiver type of worker. And it's tough for me to draw boundaries sometimes....I work at projects with an entreprenurial spirit. I've got a penchant for perfection...too.
Today, however, right this second, I've got a deflated wallet because I was NOT paid for my services as a PR and marketing consultant on a music project for which I was hired for a lengthy term. I was not paid because oooops there's no money right now. This after being told that there's plenty of funding for the project. I believed. And that is my problem. I will not hide behind a smoky mirror, friends, and pretend that things are just smoothly sailing along. Look, it's a tough climb to realize dreams. I ain't given up.
I believe people when they tell me things. I believe them without a doubt, unless they give me reason. I didn't see a reason to doubt. But there were probably signs and I chose to ignore them I bet.
Not being paid for my services as a 1099 employee for this company really sucks. So last minute too. I hung in there when my employer told me the money was being deposited into my account.... several times I was told this and nothing happened. I hung in there when he told me that there was a wrong signature on my check which is why it didn't clear. I believed, and continued to put my head to the grindstone. Those were perhaps signs.
But I don't believe anymore. And now today I'm going back to bartending. It makes me sad. I mean, bartending has been good to me, yes. But, I don't want to do it anymore. I want to move on from it and do other things with my talents that make me happy and are profitable. It isn't easy, as you know.
I've been working hard to make dreams come true so that I can work at what I love! This is a temporary set back, but it's a drag. It's a drag that I'm so naive and gullable. I've got to be tougher at this. More protective. I'm such a darn handshake sort of business person which is stupid. I want to do business in a world that no longer exists like that. I have to be a tougher business person and this I'm working on, I promise.
So, I'll report back on where I'll be bartending. Maybe you can come visit me and we'll share a few laughs and have a good time. . . while I work hard to make my dreams come true. I'm still writing a book, still in the studio recording music, still preparing for more filming. It's not like I'm rolling bank on these things....yet. It's all passion works right now. The tiny advance for the book is long gone. The prove yourself concept still reigns supreme in lots of artistic discipines in which I choose to exist. I am proving....and all will be awesome. Just wait and see. I want to be an example of the grind to achieve the dream through the most difficult times...just keep on rollin' when things get flat.
Off to find a job....see ya.
- S a s h a
- N Y C and Nashville, United States
- Hippie, Gypzy, Biker Chixie. Yep, that's me. www.bikerlady.com and www.chromecowgirl.com - my websites and I welcome your comments in this blog called Down the Road a Peace. Because, after all "do you wanna a peace of me?" : ) I'd love to hear your thoughts, so share them here. Personalize the topic and make it your own by sharing your own experience relative to the topic at hand, or let's create a new topic. U R Loved by Me.