A beautiful man and his little boy blue.

I had a lovely weekend. Spent some time with this beau that I find rather wonderful. He has a little boy with bright blue eyes, blond hair and a darling smile. He's a little boy blue. The little guy is a mini version of his daddy, the big guy.

They are both treasure trove personalities: big, animated, loving and super smart. The two of them together are a delight. Spending time with them this weekend really warmed my heart. I needed to experience a little family, you know?

This child spun a fabulous storybook fable all his own. He spoke using great animation to accompany his tale for such a little guy, and then he'd stop and say to me, "Oh there's more. Do you want to hear more? "

Of course I did. Especially, I was fascinated with his story telling, being a story teller myself. To hear a tiny four year old be so confident in his fabulous short story presentation, all his own little creation ---why, this was more entertainment than going to see a rock band down town. It was so sweet to be in this little guy's company. Oh, he made me laugh and laugh.

Now the big guy, his daddy. Oh, flutter my heart. Flutter heart indeed. This guy is European and American...perfect blend. Tough New York City contractor, yet an amazingly sensitive and creative man, too. An intellectual with a marvelous artistic way about himself. He also has the dashing debonair style to himself as he speaks of music, art, food --- all the sensual things in life.
Music, motorcycles and the open road is what we share in common among many other things. He's wildly into Rasta...Reggae mon and one love. One love, oh yes, this is my kind of language.

But, being the shy beauty that I am, I just observed father and son through my safe soul window. Yes, I watched this scene unfold: my friend and his child interacting as I had the pleasure of spending two snowy nights with them, watching movies, and so on.

He lives in the ghetto in a wonderful penthouse style apartment. An up and coming neighborhood. You just watch it'll be the happening cool place in a year or two and all the cool artists are going to have to drag their guitars, paint brushes and ballet slippers to another ghetto. But, if this cool big guy has anything to do with it, that community will stay pure...

I love the ghetto, so much more depth to the painting in the neighborhood there. He's a fairly strapping fellow so it's no challenge for him to walk the neighborhood. But for me in all my crazy style, I do stick out like a new form of entertainment in the 'hood. So I need to be a little careful after, say, midnight descending into the subway in that area. But nonetheless it's a great location. The starry view of midtown Manhattan from his acre of terrace is breathtaking

Okay, back to being shy, as I digressed into real estate and location.

I am shy with a new potential relationship. SHY. I feel like a kid on the first day of school. Silly, I know. If I was a femme fatal like Carrie on Sex & the City, I would have already hooked, lined and snatched him up, yep, with smoke trailing I'd be so lightening fast. But I'm more about the making of a good soup, keep it on a low flame, slow cook. Or more like the cautious priestess checking out the scene, surveying the perimeter of the potential union, then peeking inside the Pandora box to see what will emerge before I fling open the lid and dive in.

It's interesting how we sit and contemplate what it would be like to be with the new person as a serious mate, marriage--you know, the whole scene. It's fun to imagine. It's safe to imagine. But to step out and cultivate the imagination into reality. Hmmm....what to do. And how do you get the signal from a man who has a small child to supervise, that he may indeed feel something for you? I've never been in this situation before.

And what would it be like to be a step mom? Oh my sister thinks it would be the perfect arrangement for me. The man's never been married, but has a young child and the child already has a mommy, so I would be like another guardian in the boy's life, but as part of a support team, supporting my man and cultivating a peaceful, loving home environment as a female figure in that household. Okay, sounds great. Plus I could still pursue all of my career endeavors and continue to be like a big kid myself! Then the best for me is that it would be a first time marriage for the both of us. STOP IT!

Okay, now back to reality. The guy is just my friend. Sure I sometimes like to think what it would be like to be more. But, I felt such an enormous GIFT this weekend just being in this man's presence with his little child. To see a man so passionate, sensitive and strong interact with his son; to experience the gift of this man's tough New York City personality which is also that of an efferescent European gentleman was so fantastic for me. Fantastic! Because his personality so wonderfully compliments mine. So, I am blessed to have these two wonderful fellows...the big guy and the little guy as dear, sweet friends.

To little boy blue and the big guy:
σ' ευχαριστώ χρυσέ-ή μου. Δείτε επίσης
xxoo

Who said a city girl can't be country.

That's right. I'm a city girl lovin' everything country.... wait 'til ya'll hear the new tunes from this music project I'm recording.... honky tonkin rock N rollin country N western....fun.

A deep thought:
"Spirituality is the wink of a kitty’s eye… Philosophy is a naked ride on a Ferris wheel… Scientology is skating figure eights into your new day… And it's all LOVE and IT’S ALL GOOD!"

So where is God in all this?

Well, God is found in the window of the soul of all creation; HE is found in the stripped inhibitions of a person riding the circle of life; HE is infinity.

2005 = live life alive.

It's been quite sometime since I posted. In between alot had happened which made me want to secretly journal, you know, not share with anyone. I didn't feel like being judged.

Sometimes when you share things passionately, off the cuff, rather immediate without the entire experience having been had, then folks can jump to conclusions. So I have to be real careful of that because I'm just such a here I am kinda gal.

THE GALA
Let's see. Since I last wrote, I had the pleasure of attending a fancy gala at the St. Regis Hotel, which was so incredibly cool. The ballroom ceiling was painted with an exacting mural of a lush blue sky with perfectly puffed white clouds so it all reminded me of heaven. It was all gold leaf and the food was really perfectly puffed as well. The champagne had the perfectly puffy bubbles and the servers were very perfectly perky. I, however, was perfectly out of place, in a rather peculiar way, too. This lone chrome cowgirl among a sea of suits. It was rather fun and I made some nice pals. It was a travel industry affair. I spoke to the CEO of this super fancy, posh, luxury hotel and he gave me his card and told me to contact him. He loved the idea of me telling him about rich bikers who'd like to ride up on their super dupe customs with a sag wag in pursuit, load out into the posh surroundings and saunter up to the counter big bad and well, pampered.

MY FURRY DAUGHTER DEPARTS
Folks. Little Annie, the most amazing beautiful furry daughter feline of mine for near 21 years went home to Jesus on 11/14/04 and well, need I tell you the emotional impact? Let's just say, the little fuzz angel seemingly had it all planned because it all happened when my buddy Skip was in town visiting me and I wasn't alone to go through this most painful situation. We did a small Annie documentary and photo shoot with my precious feline as I strolled her in her baby kitty stoller through Central Park and to the Museum of Natural History. Only the week before did we stroll to Lincoln Center and Times Square and every one on the street just fawned over this fabulous beauty kitty.

She went home to Jesus surrounded by several people who adored her. It was a heartwrenching moment. So much so, I can't write about it anymore because I'm beginning to sob. I will create a wonderful memorial page about this magnificent blessed feline spirit when I'm able to write without having some kind of emotional hysteria over my little angel precious kitty not being here with me in the physical form.

CALIFORNIA
When Annie departed to be her magnificent spirit form in full force, I split for the West Coast. I couldn't hang here anymore. The loneliness tore my heart. So, I took off. I ended up recording with a dear friend of mine in California a couple of incredible tunes written by yours truly and my co-writer bro who helps me with arrangements and chords. Wait 'til you hear this stuff. It's awesome. I also visited some great pals while I was there and met some new friends. There are some wonderful projects on the horizon for this hippie gypzy biker chixie - oh indeed. I can't wait to hit the road again...for sure.

I met a real cowboy in Sacramento and ooooooowEEEEEEEEEEE what a nice trot he had. Indeed, a real cowboy who was gorgeous. But, I don't think he really "got" me, a chrome cowgirl from NYC, but he was wonderful and sweet and very funny. I liked him plenty. If he's reading this, YOU know who you are.

NYC
I ended up staying in California way longer than anticipated. My music project took root and so I needed to tend to that garden of opportunity. As well, I hung out with my dear friend Ronni in Sacramento and had a howlin' good time. Much needed because I missed my blessed fur ball feline diva toe love cat. I hung out with a few nice guys too. Which was terrific since I hadn't dated in SSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO long. I didn't really even date these dudes, just got a bit flirty in a kind and respectful way.

My last real beau was over two years ago. I can't believe I've been single for so long. But, that's okay. Gives me time to focus on my own creative missions.

So now I'm back home in NYC. It's kind of like a mother's embrace to be back. She always welcomes me back home....the neighbors are always glad to see me, my friends, the shop keepers, and so on. It's nice. But I am indeed smitten with the wild west and I do have a calling out there for sure. When the wind blows west, westward I will go. I'd like to live in Vegas. I'd been looking at that location since my friends Dena and Connor talked about going. Now they moved there. I also love California, especially Northern California. Cowboy territory.

RESOLUTIONS
I have a resolution for 2005. It is Live Life Alive. And when I say "alive" I mean aware. When I say Live Life I mean, really live it. Taste it. Experience it. BE in the MOMENT. Just get really deep in the moment. The moment of anything and everything. I shall journal all the experiences as much as I can here.... Down the Road a Peace.

FORGIVENESS
And I've been into doing my forgiveness mantras...deep mantras. FORGIVENESS = PEACE. I have my list of names and I speak each name and have a private prayer discussion with the Lord about that person. I also speak to the person in my prayers...dialog with my Jesus present in the prayers because prayer is the way to effect change and positive karma and positive energy. It is about love and we MUST love those who trespass against us. As well, we must learn to forgive ourselves. Completely FORGIVE. And we must do this on a daily and moment to moment basis. You just don't forgive once and that's the end in these enormous fouled situations, you must forgive a zillion times over in your heart because it creeps back in and stinks up the sweet place you just were enjoying in your body mind and soul. You know what I mean.

TSUNAMI AND OUR FRAGILE EARTH
The Tsunami shook our beautiful globe. Do we understand this? Do we understand how fragile we are as we hang out in the balance, in space. If the magnetic fields of energy were ever so greatly disturbed, well, we'd all be in deep space trouble because no amount of $$ is going to keep anyone from floating off the earth, and into the atmosphere because gravity was disturbed.

We lost nearly 200,000 beloved wonderful fellow brothers and sisters in this tragedy. Precious people who are suffering beyond what can be imagined. Families torn apart. Loved one's missing or passed. Homes and wonderful little lives perished. These folks need our prayers for peace and recovery. Our prayers that they will be able to function through life again. Emotionally and mentally we cannot imagine such torment. Beautiful sweet lives, we are so delicate. We must love one another to health through our humble good, strong and loving thoughts for their well being.

I LOVE YOU, DEAR READER SO...
Take another little Peace of my Heart now baby.

God bless you with wonderful, bright and substantial learning experiences that will evolve your soul and lead you to true joy.

-Sasha