Vantastic.

My van is my other baby. Tigerlily is my baby, too. My van and my motorcycle. Check out what she looked like when I bought her three years ago in Long Island. A former catering truck for an Italian Deli. 1982 Dodge Ram B250 slant 6.

Let me tell you more about Vantastic. She's brawny. And sensitive. You see, she's now sitting in my driveway with a busted radiator and fouled carb. She is not able to pass MARTA, the emissions test here in Nashville. Vantastic is my yard/garage sale companion. We leave the house at 7am with a thermos of delicious coffee and then we buy a treat, like a scone, or something interesting like that. Her back door is now filled up with fun bumper stickers for instance: "God seeks spiritual fruits not religious nuts" and "All Who Wander Are Not Lost".

Yes, Vantastic has been on several long journeys with me. In fact, together we had an interesting experience at rush hour in NYC. We broke down right before the mouth of the Lincoln Tunnel. Oh the horns. What the hell makes people beep like that so frantically? Like every single angry moment they ever had in their life was projected in the moment and out through that tiny little steering wheel horn. Oh, they beat on it...like a tribal prayer for the broke down car Gods to come make me and Vanny magically disappear. Dang.

I threw the help blinkers on and called the special rescue phone number for Port Authority. As you might guess, there's no place to turn off or pull over at the Lincoln Tunnel leaving NYC. You are jammed, crammed in there...no exit...nothing.

So, we just got zen about it all.

Then the cool Port Authority chick came by in this white truck with what looked like a biiiiiggggg white wall on the front and she was just as little as could be. She strolled over to my window and with her hand on her hip snapping a wad of gum she said, okayyyyy, just pute da car in neutral 'n don't touch nuthin but the steerin wheel n I'll getcha outta heah.

Well she pushed us all the way to this secret garage right at the middle of the tunnel...it looks like just another car passage to get to Jersey....but it's an entire garage in there! Oh I told them of my excursion to move to Nashville...and me and Vanny hookin up in Long Island, and the fact that almost ALLL the hoses for emmissions were stripped out and that's why I was as broke down as a joke at the tunnel...Well, we all chuckled and drank coffee together. I then slid on through the tunnel to Jersey and rigged this contraption hose set up with a dude named Fernando over at AutoZone in Bayone.

One of my new projects this year is pimping my darling van into a spectacle.... I'm collecting random items now. Garage sale stuff, swap meet stuff, junk yard treasures. Yes, I'll keep you posted. I'm tempted to try and do alotta things in the world of automotive I've NEVER tried before. But, like I always say, attempt everything like it is a gourmet recipe and you'll notice that if you just carefully follow directions, or, if you don't have a receipe, carefully think through the ingredients and ingredient companionship and you will have an interesting start on your learning curve. Ha ha...

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