Gone to Pee, Don't F&*K With My Drink.

GONE TO PEE Don't F&*K With My Drink is the slogan printed on the back of the business card. Where I work occassionally.

You won't find this card proudly presented at Daniel's in New York City. Or LeCirque.

I'm a bartender in some hard core local bars here in Nashville. The local watering holes. Oh, but first before I went to work at the local hangs, I went to work downtown Nashville to service the tourists, and the more polished suits, the college kids.

But they don't tip.

And they're not personable.

And they don't care what your name is.

So, I decided to go work in the local hangs. When I first started working at the one bar, here in Nashville, well, Antioch, I was definately in a new landscape. I was amongst proud rednecks. And they were proud to declare the title.

I was a Yankee. Damn Yankee at that. And still am to them, but now called THIER yam dankee, instead. There is a difference between North and South. And here I thought we were all one and .... I felt like a stranger. And that's strange because I'm not a stranger anywhere. I can walk in all kinds of circles and environments and feel a kinship.

I thought that maybe I would never fit in here. I'm an artsy fartsy New York City biker hippie chick singing southern rock style music. What the?

But Who Said A City Girl Can't Be Country?

At the bars where I work, I've met the nicest, most loving kind folks. They care. They want to commune at the bars because they love to socialize. And at these bars, it's like a party. Maybe like being in your best friend's basement at your mom's house growing up, like on That 70's Show.

They tip.

They're personable.

And the first thing they want to know is your name and will repeat it all night long so that it is in their hearts and rolls off their tongues as if you're a lifelong cousin.

The customers call me baby, sweetheart, honey, darlin'. And in New York, well, poop thumbtacks, some girl bartenders would think that was deroggatory. Not me! Because these folks say it with care and an invitation for friendship. They say it differently. Very differently. They speak these endearments, endearingly. It's part of the culture here in the south. They also like to stand in that "personal space" area that us New Yorkers vehmently protect. We northerners keep folks at arms length unless we really know someone. But here in the South, well, these beautiful people, you know, completely stand INSIDE arms reach right when they meet you. Warm welcome. Indeed.

My one boss, David, is what I call, my "Hillbilly Hero" and I've written a song for him. He and I are like brother and sister. He is so Southern and I'm so Northern, but we work well together. He adores me and I adore him. He's my Hillbilly Hero because he cares so much and is concerned about my wellbeing as one of his employees and friends. He came to visit me at the other bar last night and brought me a token from Vegas, a Harley-Davison purse featuring a chick on a motorcycle dated in the '50s. With rhinestones splashed across the design.

Well, I stopped sweeping, opened this gift and was just bubbling and fountaining with gratitude. He's the best. What a beautiful and caring move, eh?

These are real, down-to-earth, honest AMAZING folks here in the good ol' south. They are FUN and they are loving and kind. Not that New Yorkers aren't! I miss home SOOOO bad alot of times. I'm a city girl forever and I long to be home.

And someday I hope and pray that I will be able to afford to return home because my beloved hometown of NYC has become so expensive.

Oh, Northern friends say, move to Queens, Brooklyn, and I've lived there before. I know the boroughs are there and available as choice locations to reside. But those places are the alternatives to where I really want to be, at home. And that is right in the heart of Manhattan. With it's bustling streets and fantastic neighborhoods, and ART! ALL THINGS ART!

For now, however, it's like I left the barstool for a moment, that New York City barstool, and for the moment:

GONE SOUTH, DON'T F(*K WITH MY NORTH.

I am relieving myself in the South. Stress relieving, that is. Enjoying the solitude and simple pleasures of a beautifully tepid pace... and learning what it means to be quiet and think. To breathe very deeply and become totally aware and to act carefully and with thought.

And being around people who take the time. Alot of time to make sure you're doing alright. : )

xox.

Okay, sigh, I'm artistic

You know, all these years I tried to BE other than an artist. I mean, I would be creative, and be artistic, but I wasn't an artist-type, because I would force myself to think average so that I could secure a regular job and pay the bills.

Now that I'm comfy in my personality more so than ever since riding off on my Harley some nine years ago and never looking back at that time when I was a square peg jamming myself into a round hole which surely was the round dot that sits below the swirly question mark, I'm able to get lost in creative moments and create works of art.

The funny thing is, I enjoy being the artist. I love it. I think on multiple levels and drift in a thinking state of mind. I love to spend time thinking and thus creating. To think is such a lost art. I don't want to be just a do-er, a busy body, doing tasks all the time. Many of us get caught up in this taskmastering crap. I want to think; really think some idea through and through and then do-it. Become active and turn the vision into reality.

In order to turn a vision or thought into a reality, one has to think a long time, and begin to sketch out the idea to bring it to life...to give birth to it. And then sometimes the vision happens in a flash, like lightening cracking and whipping across the sky, and then, trance like, we are like mad professors that quickly produce a fantastic piece of art.

I like to take the time to truly think about a project before I begin it. Though of course, I leave plenty of room and welcome those bolts of creative energy that may produce something at lightening speed, leaving me breathless and wild-eyed.

And when I begin a project, I'm thinking the whole time, and taking notes. Copious notes because I like to have a plan and possibilities. Sort of like here's the NUGGET of the vision, and then there it webs into a possibility of all kinds of wonderful opportunity for that NUGGET.

I like to be in my solitude and create works of arts that have a brilliant life of their own. It's like starting the bike and going on the journey, to a destination, oh yes, but what will occur in between MUST have a life of its own. There are many disciplines in which I enjoy creating projects and seeing them through to completion. Like music, writing, arts&crafts, sewing, motorcycle stuff, film stuff....etc.

And thus, accomplishing something fantastic....from these art forms.

Even if it's only fantastic to me, but I quest to create something fantastic for lots of folks to enjoy.

And God.

It's a created something. A vision come to life.

Taskmastering a bunch of routine things doesn't bring things to life but keeps us bound in a frame of routine thinking. To take the time to really think about stuff, and I don't mean just solving a life problem type of thinking. I'm talking about having an idea that you know is from your heart and soul and it wants a life. But, one must think about the idea, the thought needs breath and space to grow and live and morph and manifest outside of the brain.

All of us are artists. Creative and gifted. And, sigh, yes, I'm an artist and I will take such beautiful care of this reality. It's precious to have a passion for creating something for manifesting a dream, a project, whatever that creative thing is you have. Be the artist that you are.

Allow yourself the indulgence of time to think. Afford yourself the opportunity to just think. And then create the thought further by writing down the actions necessary to create the vision. And then make it all happen.

Sigh. It's the best feeling EVER. To create. To be an artist. That is truth. And if I'm thinking deeply and seem a bit flaky, it's because I'm lost...in glorious thought. If I forget to do a simple routine task, it's because my brain is occupied with fabulous creative visions. Not because I'm forgetful. Creativity requires responsibility. Dedication. And sheer Passion for LIFE.

I remember working at the record labels and THE ARTIST would arrive and I'd emerge from my cubicle to attend a meeting with them and their crew. And I knew I didn't belong working 9-5 because I'm a round the clock work whenever, whereever type of gal...the artist in me. But they would arrive as if from another world. They looked at everything like it could be turned into a lyric or a painting or a dance or poetry. They looked at things the way I did. But, I would have to work superhard at NOT daydreaming about artistic concepts. I had to be a focused corporate type of person (though I've HARDLY ever really been anything remotely corporate) . I was acting....at this role...to be the level headed realist.

Oh, the excuses. Well THEY are the artist and they can't be concerned about bogging their creative energy down with business things so don't ask them about that or this. I would think...gee I wish I had reps that would say those things about ME. "Leave Sasha to be the creative person because she's a powerhouse visionary and needs to focus her energy on creating." And the rep would of course keep me informed about all the business about my creative output, however, I wouldn't be bogged down with the darn details, the taskmaster crap, the solicitation of the art, you know what I mean my fellow artisans.

For every single project I create I also have written a business plan. Why? Because for me, as a creative person I want to understand the best way to deliver the creative project for which I am manifesting. Because part of being an artist is to be a great creative visionary.

These business plans also provide a linear manner of thinking for me when I am lost in wild creative thought where ideas and paths are like a glorious maze of mysterial creative energies popping and snapping and bursting with power.... and then I can get joyfully LOST in my creative jungle, that rainforest of epiphanies and I can sit upon a star and be one with the galaxy of artisans....creating and manifesting and contemplating all that is.... inspiring such brilliant energy to CREATE something from NOTHING....from the ethers of GOD's Will for His little person.

So, thus, I continue to meet with managers and agents. These are the folks who are a blessing to the artist. I've met two very WONDERFUL folks: Stan and Chris. I adore these two representatives of art. They are smart, they ride motorcycles, and they RESPECT the entire craft of being a visionary, thinking way beyond the boundaries of been there, done that. They are artists too. Because they are thinkers and dreamers, and believe in the possibilities of new art and old familiar love affairs, like how a rider loves to ride a motorcycle.

While we continue to meet, to discover the vast opportunities as a collaborative creative force, I pray....Oh LORD willing, that this artist, sigh, will be able to secure the business reps, in order that I may dream....get lost in thought, and focus all of my powerful energies on all things art, so that I can be locked into my purpose and deliver the fruit of my God blessed talents to the world.

Let me whistle while I work, and then get ready to go bartend at the hard core honky tonk, where I am the customer's favorite "yamn dankee"

Peace, Love, and DRIVE..... Sashxoa