How the Shepard yanked me back.

As you know I was on my WAY to Daytona, but 50 miles south of Atlanta I turned around and came back to Nashville.

Amazing how the inner guide will surely guide you if you let it. I angst about my decision to go. Wanting to leave Monday, then Tuesday, but having so much to do and lots of things that needed my attention, finally, I departed at 3:15pm on Wednesday wanting to ride all night in the moonlight...I just love to do that. It's magical and sweet to roll through the evening.

Well, my bike shut down south of Atlanta around 9:30pm. After quickly glancing over the bike with the sheriffs, we just couldn't figure out why she lost power because it was quite dark to see. The sheriff felt it best to get a wrecker to pull me to the next truck stop to diagnose the ailment especially since I was on the left side of the three lane highway having just passed someone only to lose power and have to guide my bike to the shoulder. Otherwise I would have paddle-walked her to the next exit which wasn't too far away.

When the shut down occurred, my thought was, here we go! Road adventure...it's part of the journey. A new chapter opens during the journey southbound. I love an adventure and will always thank GOD that safely my bike experienced a mechanical problem and that I was not hurt.

During the years of riding I have had my share of mechanical challenges with Tigerlily ranging from a fuel line disconnecting, to a battery going bad in the middle of the night and I pop started her for as long as I could and then that was it, to coil(s) going bad, to broken ring in the primary causing lots of oil to dump out of the bike (note I'm not exactly sure how to explain that one, but you've got the picture). I always managed to limp along my journey or get it fixed somehow and continue on.

There was a generous amount of oil on the under carriage, so I thought it must have been an oil loss related problem, (which Tigerlily is always peeing oil!) but it wasn't. Believe it or not, it turned out to be simply a wire to the coil fell off, that Mike, the wrecker owner, discovered as together we went over the bike under a street lamp at the Love's Truck Stop. Great. I was back on the road and we laughed about it all. It was a pleasure to meet a new highway hero, Mike from Mike's Tires, who also was a die-hard rider. The adventure was on...and the bike was FINE. Praise God!

I called my friends, laughed about the silliness of the wire, and told them I'm on my way and that I was going to have a coffee and continue south. IT would be awesome, too. We had a great campsite at a friend's home all set up and my beloved friends would all be there. I was so excited. Also, the beach, how I missed it since moving to Nashville. I used to be such a beach girl.

Anyway, I sat in the truck stop phone lounge charging my phone. I gulped down the coffee and was ready to go. But then something wouldn't let me continue. My gut. WHAT! ? I'm nearly half way there...of course I'm going to continue, plus I TOLD my darling peeps I'd be there. No question. . .

And then again,

"NO. Do not go. Wait."

So, I thought, okay. Maybe I'm supposed to just wait a while so I did. Wait a while. Contemplating why the feeling of YAHOO! for Daytona was fading.

"Pray." Came the words from my heart.

Eerrie but okay, I thought. About what? So, I went about asking the Holy Spirit, the Universe, the sweet Divine, am I supposed to go on this trip?

Nothing. I waited. Nothing. And it seemed like the joy for the sunny destination bubbled up again, and so, THERE was my answer. Go.....

I got up to leave, my attention was diverted. Then this really spooky feeling came over me again. "Stop." And I felt almost frozen. Folks, this back and forth crap is now taking up alot of good riding time, you know what I mean? Now, I'm super frustrated. My word, I've got to honor! I told my friends I was going to be there. So I'm going. That's it. I had to challenge this spookiness.

And then plain as day, referring to an article that caught my eye as I rose to leave and get on the bike, that if I continued down the highway this will happen to you: death.

WHAT? Now, I'm weirding out big time, -- my mind is thinking this this strangeness or is it really the small still voice of the burning bush! ??? My bike is FINE. So, what does this all mean? I don't get spooked out here on the wide open. It's where I learn trust and where I meet the divine, as I always testify. But now this new "sign" has made me stop in my track. Then the sweet divine kept on at my gut instinct...to turn around. Go back home.

Folks, this is really getting frustrating now. I'm having an inner spar with my intuition. Nearly half way to my destination and I'm supposed to turn around and go home? Let's weight this out, I'm thinking:

1. My amazing "family" is awaiting me, I need them, I long for them, I adore them all and I want to have fun and see everyone.

2. Daytona is warm and sunny and I want to run around in the ocean.

3. I want to take care of my friend Jasmine because I promised her I'd do some work for her.

4. I got another amazing opportunity to help out Cyril. Which was a big bonus for me because I totally admire his work.

and I could go on and on. I even brought my tiara and I would put my plastic glitterati on my head upon arrival all road dirty and run to my friends and jump in their arms, as a celebration the queen of the highway has arrived safely.

okay, so if I go back to Nashville:

1. It's crappy weather

2. I'm alone there without my friends and "family" because they are all in Daytona

3. I want to take a break from Nashville because I'm really not liking it these days.

4. I miss New York City so desperately and dearly, that I need a break from feeling THAT home sickness.

5. I've been in a funk because the holidays are fast approaching and there will be no physical presence of Daddy Poppi at the festivities. And last year, we spent all of December in the Oncology unit with our beloved Poppi. So, this feeling was kicking my A**.

and I could go on.

But then a series of divine movement happened that night at the Love's Truck Stop while I was so terribly torn. The LORD began a dialogue with me while I sat on my bike and collected dew from the evening now sliding into the next day, Thursday. The "voice" if you will, was gentle, kind loving. It was the small stillness. Suddenly, referring to the sticker on my bike that is right on the tank, friends, "I live life my way" - I was asked:

"What is MY WAY?" Now, talk about getting the chills, the spooks. There were many details to this, and to spare you all the little details, that, should you not be much of a spiritual person, would make you think I may be a little crazy, I will tell you this:

I had to face some things. Deep things. This was no joke. I had to trust my intuition, my gut. And I'll tell you, I was also offered this opportunity from the divine:

"If you'd like to prove your gut wrong, go ahead." Because I have free will. We all do. What highway and MY WAY do we travel? Holy cow this was getting intense, and like a child fighting to continue playing on the playground, I was beginning to feel a confirmation. "It's not time. Head North."

With that, folks, I turned around from my bike to go back into the truck stop and stopped as I gazed at the dozen or some illuminated words that said: "LOVE'S" Suddenly, the word was no longer referring to the truck stop. Here I was perfectly parked so that these words would be from left to right blazing at me. No, I wasn't parked in front of the doors to the store, I was parked away from the main area, in a spot that was for one hour only and now I had been there THREE HOURS dealing with this spooky stuff, and parked in a position that perfectly lit up the "sky" with the word "LOVE's".

Right then I just had to speak with Betsy, my dear road sister, and explain all this to her. She, also very much in touch with the road angels and divine, thought that indeed, Jesus was speaking to me.

I need to tell you all, too, that I've had my spiritual challenges since moving to Nashville. There's been a great need to work on my soul which being so heavy hearted this year, was difficult for me.

You see, my entire spiritual community that I so adored, the folks at Central Baptist on the Upper West Side, a very modest church, that was much more a spiritual warrior gathering of artists and folk, than anything else, was no longer in my life having moved to Nashville. And having dealt with two enormous tragedies this year that has rocked my foundation, I have to confess that I hadn't tended to my daily spirit journals or readings like I used to, because I know there is so much work I must do, to align myself again with that tremendous spiritual place I had been in for so long.

In fact, I felt I was hiding from HIM/HER, the Father, the Mother, the Son, the Daughter (me).

This was a serious calling at the truck stop. A test. A trust that I needed to allow my intuition (the divine guidance) to call the shots here and now. Let me say that it was a really tough decision. But, I wasn't going to prove it wrong.

Yes, for several days leading up to my departure I felt that something wasn't right. But as my Jasmine girl will tell you, I had been shying away from things when I ought to be there. She will attest to the fact that I have been struggling pretty hard this year on many levels and had been wanting to hide from the world. In fact, this is one of the hardest years that I've had to face. Promising that I'd be there with the "family" was a good strong way for me to be there because it would just kill me to not honor my word. And I hemmed and hawed about it, believe me, but I knew in my heart that I was not going to disappoint my precious Jasmine sister.

But I couldn't discount what I was feeling that night. It was a really huge feeling. Overwhelming. And indeed, I tried to discount it as all in my mind weird but there were so many signs already. To my ego, too, the ever giant ego we all have that Eckart Tolle is so lovingly trying to quiet through his teachings: to not continue south would be defeat and not cool. And I would not get to wear my tiara and I would not get to boast of riding to Daytona as a die-hard biker chick. I would not get to dress up in a gown and attend a party. I would not get to show my work ethic to Cyril.

I felt I had an obligation to my word because I told my friend's I would be there and was bound and determined to go! However, the WORD I had an obligation to was more than just my own. There was alot more going on and spirit was challenging me. Challenging me in a way that was highly annoying.

Yes, the incredibly spooky feelings I was having as I attempted to travel south had nothing to do with my bike's performance, so I couldn't blame it on that. Instead of proving my intuition/gut wrong -- finally after sitting at the truck stop contemplating this foreboding feeling for nearly 3 hours around 3:30am I decided to turn my packed up bike around and go back to Nashville even though it was cold and raining up ahead and southbound were sunny skies. I teared up as I saw the signs directing south and north. Tigerlily and I headed north.

Maybe my daddy Poppi, God rest his soul, popped that wire so that I would have to stop and contemplate. I don't know. What I do know is that it's important to heed the signs of the road angels. So here I am back home in Nashville. My beautiful friends in Daytona, I'm sorry that I could not be there with you. I treasure you all with every bit of my soul.

Since coming home there has been a giant spiritual movement happening within and without. There are people of spirit coming into my life to guide me. I mean, folks like my neighbors, one who is a spiritual counselor, and the other is a senior exec at this awesome church. The conversations have been intense. Yesterday I just wrapped my being inside the Beatitudes... Emmet Fox's Sermon on the Mount...it felt good and warm. Like a spa bath. I felt like a child in my father's arms...safe as I read the words.

My mission is to blend the beautiful world of riding motorcycles, with the divine spirit. I had been drifting from my path...yes I had. So herein I take a chance and share with you this very personal experience of being yanked back by the Shepard.

. . .I had to honor another Word and heed the Call.

-S

The Beauty of Truth.

I wrote this for a wandering musical soul whose story I heard and therefore I wrote something special for her. It had to do with a religious sect who has pursuaded her to halt her music career labeling her artistic efforts sinful. Now, I have stripped my letter to her of the personal subjects that related specifically to her situation and I share it with you here. I share it with you because I feel motivated to inspire folks that need to nurture their God given gifts and protect their individual and personal relationship with the Lord. I've also expanded upon the letter so that it applies to many.

The beauty of truth.

Every one is born with special talents. When you discover your purpose through those special talents, you have engaged yourself with the will of God. The task now is activity and renewal.

To ignore one's purpose, well, that is a sin.

Jesus Christ came to preach a mystical method of worship. Not a method based upon religiousity that robs the precious individual soul of their God-given talents because a collective mind, an established religion, tells an individual how they ought to live. In other words, washes their brain with man-made regulations in order to control a collective.

God gave us FREE WILL. Our will. To have a personal relationship with HIM. Yes, prayer in community is amazing, beautiful, and very powerful. But the power is in each individual's personal relationship with the Father, through the example of Jesus Christ, coming together as a holy collective to CELEBRATE LOVE in worship.

The mystical method, was far beyond what man could corral with mere words. To corral with words, means to control. The Father is in Control, through the power of divine love. To love is to nurture, to water, to feed, to give and to receive. Jesus gave example of this. Because the heart and the soul speak in a mystical language so deep and profound, the only way to understand is through LOVE. Only love....positive, loving, encouraging, evolutionary LOVE.

Lean not on man's wisdom, but on the wisdom of the Lord, which is truth. Religion is not church. Religion is a mind set. Jesus Christ taught that LOVE is all there is. To love and respect and seek wisdom in all things. To rely on divine intelligence. A church is a gathering of like-hearted folks who love and worship the Father, and celebrate one another's gifts. Who seek to deepen their knowledge of LOVE. Jesus is gentle. He is love. He does not scold. He does not abuse the soul and talent of the Father's precious children. He doesn't condemn. He doesn't shame his sheep into thinking, yes thinking a certain way. He doesn't punish. Man's ego does all that.

During His earthly works, Jesus Christ entered into the den of thieves, into the chamber of the forsaken, and ate with the castaways. He dwelled with sinners and spoke with them about the Good word. Love. A sinner is one separated from their purpose, and thus separated from LOVE. Separated from the activity of their purpose.

Jesus entered into places where God could send His only Son. Because He knew the language of LOVE. That is the way that the Father works. He relies on His children to be His instrument of peace. (Remember that Jesus was condemned by MAN for His unique way of worship and divine instruction. For His walk with the outcasts and those precious souls in need of healing that the Pharisees would kick aside to enter their temple of worship. Jesus became the most exaulted example of the destruction that man's ego and collective opinion and religious rules causes!)

And to be an instrument is to be available to His calling, no matter where it may take you. And He calls you through your God given talents. You're ability to be active in LOVE. Many of God's children, even those not yet awaken to the Word, often times can only be divinely aroused through seemingly random events that simply, ever so simply, touch their souls -- like music.

God wants to Communicate to His children, through you. He arranges your life and draws you to people who believe in your talent and thus foster and open doors, so that HE can complete His WORKS through you. How the heavens rejoice when a soul is saved. Saved from the harsh life of living without fulfillment by virtue of an individual's gifts engaged and fully utlized for goodness.

The army of an individual who has a personal relationship with the Lord and thus uses their God given purposeful talents for His will whether in the den of theives, to the broken spirited, to those who are spiritual, and to those who are lost, no matter where they are....oh, my goodness...that is salvation.

Listen to the Father. Go to your heart where the answers are beating in rhythm for YOU to understand.

Jesus is calling you to LISTEN to YOUR heart. Leave your anxious mind where man made ruin occurs. Pray for TRUTH. Be active in your God given talents which are a gift to the world. Allow the Father to work through you so that you can lead others home to their heart, too, through your precious talents.

Now is the time to fully be present to the Father's calling. This world is in dire need of love and renewal. Just when the Father is working at a a child's (meaning you) highest calling, the wolf lay to devour that soul, and many times, through the method of USING the Father's words and twisting them into chaos, thus twisting a child's mind to turn away from the heavenly Father's WILL.

You may wish to read Eckart Tolle's A New Earth, which is great at explaining things of the ego in religion.

Peace and love and may the light of understanding expand into your body, mind and soul, so that the seed of your truth will fully blossom into song. Pray for Holy truth to be revealed unto you. God bless you. May the beauty of Holy Truth be revealed to you, child, by the power of the Holy Spirit, in the name of Jesus Christ.

Sasha